The Men Just Don't Get It

Thanks to my wonderful colleague, this post on the Straits Times Forum has been brought to my attention.

http://www.straitstimes.com/ST%2BForum/Story/STIStory_293760.html

To my great amusement, it's written by Sherry Aw. Possibly my Sec 1 classmate. Very likely in fact.

My first thought after reading the article: OMG SUCH GREAT ENGLISH. Unlike what I have to deal with most of the time =P.

My second thought: Sounds like Sherry. Heh. Not that I knew or know her well.

My third thought: Alvin Tan is a loser.

I wouldn't have posted this except for the fact that

1. I misclicked and read Alvin Tan's latest post today.

http://www.straitstimes.com/ST%2BForum/Story/STIStory_296712.html

2. I am in a blogging mood today. Ok. Maybe for the last 15 minutes.

Note to self: do NOT goggle your ex-classmates. It will only MAKE YOU FEEL DEPRESSED.

Here's a link to Mr Tan's original post.

http://www.asiaone.com/Just%2BWoman/About%2BMe/Columns/Story/A1Story20081019-94707.html

I completely and utterly understand why Mr Tan could not find a suitable match in Singapore.

Mr Tan writes:

While the dictionary defines 'submissive' as 'to give in, or to obey', it hardly
does justice to the give-and-take attitude incumbent on both spouses for a happy
marriage. Not for an instant would I imply that submissive women (or men) have
no rights. This is rubbish and reflects a certain bias on anyone who interprets
it as such.

Yes, Mr Tan. Even if YOU don't fully understand what you want in a woman, it's pretty clear to those who read this paragraph.

You want a woman who is submissive by choice. One who knows her rights but chooses, for some reason, to be submissive.

I completely fail to see why "if women want men to shelter, love and care for them in the gentlemanly fashion they seem to demand, then they should let their men take charge". Mr Tan, do you not expect your wife to love and care for you in a ladylike fashion in return? And what exactly is this "take charge"?

I'm not too clear if this submissive woman who will let their husbands take charge will actually love her husband. Sounds like all Mr Tan expects of a woman who demands gentlemanly treatment from her man is... total obedience. Not love.

I don't carry a handbag, so my boyfriend can't carry it for me. He doesn't carry my bag for me either, unless I'm going to the toilet. I carry his for him too sometimes if it comes to that.

Oh. But he DOES pay for everything. I guess. Haha. And I somehow don't think I'm ever going to let him take charge. He also probably knows that's never going to be the case.

So, Mr Tan, is my boyfriend stupid for being with me? Should he be like you and find a bride from China because she'll submit to his every whim and fancy? And stay at home and cook for him if he so wishes? And iron and wash his clothes?

Maybe the bride you think he should find is the type that will split everything half-half and pay for all of her own expenses.

Mr Tan says the woman he found knows exactly what she wants. But he never say WHAT it is she wants. The equality or to be completely dominated. I wonder why.

I'm also wondering what era Mr Tan is referring to in his statement "Basically, Singapore men today are expected to behave like the gentlemen of a bygone era.". Maybe the Leopold one. Did such men ever exist?

Perhaps the question should be: Is there anything wrong with wishing for such men to exist in the modern world?

When I tell my date I want him to foot the bill, I don't see how that can be viewed as wanting to be the weaker sex. I AM voicing my opinion.

As to WHY he should pay. Because I feel like it. =D

Going off to NOT be submissive now.